“I wan’ you ta hol’ me!”
My little student’s nasally words were hard to refuse.
“We’re fixing to say the pledges, so I need to you stand up here by me, okay?” I whispered into his ear, my cheek brushing his smooth brown hair.
Not even a minute passed before it came again: “I wan’ you ta hol’ me!” His big, brown eyes below distressed eyebrows made my heart melt.
“I want to, too, but we can’t right now. We’re fixing to sing.”
Briefly, in the bedlam that constitutes my church’s Awana song time, little Claude forgot his desire. But seconds later as I stood there facing the big screen, singing and clapping, he came to stand in front of me with the plea again. His desire was one I would have gladly granted had it not hindered his need to learn discipline, patience, and maturity--and mine to employ it.
There’s a time and place for everything, but after I’d gotten home from church, I wondered if I had ever gotten around to holding him on my lap throughout our evening together.
I love “my children” as I call them. They are each precious, special, and unique individuals made by our detail-oriented Creator.
One of the sweetest parts about teaching the Cubbies class (3-5 year olds) is the cuddly-ness so many of them exhibit. I sit on the floor for only seconds before one (or three!) of them decide to plop down in my lap. I love it! I love that they feel comfortable with me. I love getting to tousle their hair as I pass them, look into their specific-to-them pairs of eyes, comment on the toys they bring or their color sheets & crafts, pray with them, and give and get big bear hugs from them.
Over the past few weeks, little Claude has really changed. At first, I didn’t expect as much of him as I probably should have, (I guess partly because of his personality, partly because of his home life, and partly because I’m not the firm disciplinarian that I should be all the time), but I have noticed when I have “stuck to my guns” with him, eventually he has been persuaded to obey and now exhibits a love for me that I did not feel previously.
After I thought the evening over, I concluded that I did hold Claude at some point, but not as long as I would have liked. What was on his mind? Was he feeling threatened or did his day go badly for him? Was I the security he felt he lacked and, in his own way, he was asking for? And, did I miss giving him the love and attention that Christ would have given?
Sometimes, like Claude, I look up to my Heavenly Father and say, “I wan’ you ta hol’ me! Life is too hard right now. These challenges are too tall to jump over and my legs are too tired to go around. Please just hold me in Your arms.” The Lord is never constrained by “principles of decorum” or time restraints or busyness to refuse me.
I love the words from Deuteronomy 33:27a that say, "The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms:"
He is available and eager to hold His children and never refuses to gather me up and show me how strong He is.
